It sounds angry and dismissive, and even if it is to some degree how I feel--certainly it isn't wholly how I feel. But I do get annoyed and frustrated with how gullible people seem to be. A lot of it has nothing at all to do with religion.
I see these same qualities in my family. In myself. How I grew up until about age 13 worshiping my father despite the fact that he was pretty much an affable con artist. The time when I saw through the lies and realized the truth about him has greatly shaped my worldview.
I've since had a very similar, even more disheartening experience with my older brother and the reactions of naivete with the rest of my family and surrounding caregivers.
There are definitely parallels in the religious world where so many predators roam and so many victims seem all too willing to give up their minds, pocketbooks, and genitals in order to fulfill some kind of fantasy of enlightenment or communion with god.
But I seek these things out in a way, too. I seek out the stories and the accounts of cults, cultleaders, and the followers. I seek out religious discussions. Better to just read about baseball and hockey, but I'm drawn to it like a fly to shit.
Not sure why. Something about the circle is magnetic to me. Maybe on some level I really am jealous of these cult leaders who get to do whatever the hell they want and take what they want and to hell with anyone who gets burned.
I don't think so, but who knows?
Maybe it appeals to me to see that same tragedy played out that I saw in my youth. To experience that unmasking of power and the pain it caused me over and over again. To somehow win it one time. To make someone pay for what they've done wrong.
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3 comments:
You're justified in getting frustrated. People do attach to religious stories and ideas as if they were absolute or literal truth and that can cause problems.
To say that all the nonsense is useless is going too far though. Some of it's outdated, like dietary laws and a few other things, but most of it sets good examples if you follow it in spirit and not to the letter. It's all metaphor and it's no more or less real than everyday life.
As far as your expression of how you feel about it, I've come to realize the ego as a kind of filter that struggles to maintain its form by controlling what ideas we let out. Usually these ideas need to be let out of their box so that we can take a good look at them, most of the time to realize how ridiculous they are.
Now that you've expressed your frustration, you're doubting it and looking for its root. How can anyone question whether or not that's a healthy attitude?
You don't have to go around unmasking frauds for what they are, playing superhero detective protecting the innocent, but for some of us that's the path our inner nature is guiding us down.
Listen to it, question it, but listen to it. It may tell you something different once you've learned the lesson it's trying to show you.
I've had a lot of stories from my past teach me new lessons long after I thought I'd learned all I could from them, but only after listening to my gut and seeing where it was taking me.
People seem to think that Zen and Buddhism are about controlling your thoughts, but I've really come to see it as questioning the thoughts we have and not letting them control us. Sometimes they're right though.
Thanks for the honesty, and thank yourself for it as well.
Gniz,
Think about thought. You can get into the content of the thought, or you can be aware of it as energy or physiology. How do these approaches relate to what you are saying about religions, gurus, etc?
El Anon
To make someone pay for what they have done wrong.
A lot of wrongdoing happens with the playing out of tragedy.
A lot of tragedy happens with the playing out and aftermath of wrongdoing, and discovery and unmasking of it too.
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